Friday, December 25, 2015

Friday, December 18, 2015

Ralph Lauren

It's not about age. It's about taste, and it's about lifestyle.

Just a thought

Soapbox incoming:
There are so many problems in the world that we have to struggle with.  From violence to natural disasters to injustice to poverty, there is an endless list of things to make life harder. Don't make yourself part of that list.
I think that one large stumbling block that so many women have to work to overcome is the tendency to try to turn themselves into men. I don't mean physically, and even mentally I think most people would not even realise that it was happening. But as human beings, we are shaped by our surroundings. And our surroundings, from every direction, scream at us that men are superior, that they are worth more, that they can do more, that being a woman is a weakness instead of a stregnth.
But that is where they are wrong. It is most definitely a stregnth. And I firmly and whole-heartedly believe that each and every woman is strong enough to fight the daily torrent of down-putting responses each and every day, we are strong enough to push past that, to look at ourselves and say, "I am me. And that's okay. In fact, that is not okay- it is great. I will keep being me."


Sometimes the strongest women are the ones who love beyond all faults, cry behind closed doors, and fights battles that nobody knows about.

Steve Maraboli

There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. That is the true essence of beauty.

Brock Lance Richardson

Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him.

Meenu Bagla

Don't try to fit in for the heck of it – your femininity is an asset, not a liability.

Marilyn Monroe

I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it.

A very famous quote from Miz Marilyn Monroe, there is a depth here that I believe can be overlooked easily. And it is in reference to feeling comfortable in one's own skin and sexuality and femininity. To be a woman and to be okay with that. It is more than an outward show of confidence, it is an inner Zen, if you like, an understanding that you are already all you need to be, and that by being yourself, you are being spectacular.
And who is remembered as being spectular more than Miss Norma Jean herself?

Anais Nin

How wrong is it for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself?

Coco Chanel

A woman can be over dressed but never over elegant.

Coco Chanel

Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.

Margaret Thatcher

Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country.

John Lennon

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.

Marianne Williamson

When a woman rises up in glory, her energy is magnetic and her sense of possibility contagious.

Audrey Hepburn

There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain.

Viktor Frankl

Everything can be taken from... a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.

Margaret Thatcher

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Just a thought

To quote the estimable Debra N. Mancoff in her book "Fashion in Impressionist Paris'" clothing provides "an articulate and accessible code of modern identity. Through their attire, men and women negotiated the complex world's of public image, proper decorum and personal relationships."
Like it or not, any impression made by you will include influence from your personal appearance. That is human nature. And not only would a lady never allow herself to be seen looking less than perfect, she would also never want to lose out on an opportunity to demonstrate her class and ladyship. Therefore, whether you are fashionably inclined or you don't know taupe from mauve really doesn't matter. What matters is that there should be a modesty and attention to detail in your dress, grooming, and hygene that will leave no one wondering whether you are a lady. "Such details would not have gone unnoticed, and in a portrait they would have represented the attributes of a respectable woman."

Monday, December 14, 2015


This video beautifully illustrates a brief visit to a ladies' finishing school in the United Kingdoms. With interesting viewpoints, rousing conversation, and an intellectual debate, this video is a must-watch for anyone who wishes to learn more.

Thursday, December 10, 2015


Audrey Hepburn on We Heart It -

Monday, November 30, 2015


The disconnection between men and women is the lack of understanding and respect.

Jane Haddam

In my day, we didn't have self-esteem, we had self-respect, and no more of it than we had earned.

Oprah Winfrey

I believe the choice to be excellent begins with aligning your thoughts and words with the intention to require more from yourself.

Oprah Winfrey

Though I am grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn't changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I'm just wearing better shoes.

Oprah Winfrey

If you want your life to be more rewarding, you have to change the way you think.

Oprah Winfrey

Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.

Maya Angelou

I am capable of what every other human is capable of.

Marilyn Monroe

But, my God, how I wanted to learn, to change, to improve!

Marilyn Monroe

I don't want to make money. I just want to be wonderful.

Marilyn Monroe

I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it.

Marilyn Monroe

I'm very definitely a woman and I enjoy it.

Mary Wortley Montague

Civility costs nothing and buys everything.

Emily Post

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.

Helen Nielsen

Humility is like underwear; essential, but indecent if it shows.


Only great minds can afford a simple style.

Elizabeth Taylor

I've always admitted that I'm ruled by my passions.

Elizabeth Taylor

I feel very adventurous. There are so many doors to be opened, and I'm not afraid to look behind them.

Jessica Simpson

Every tear should live its purpose. Don't ever wipe the reason away.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.


The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.

Anne McCaffrey

Make no judgments where you have no compassion.

Cameron Diaz

Your regrets aren`t what you did, but what you didn`t do. So I take every opportunity.

Beyonce Knowles

We don't want the guys to think we're male-bashing or that we're thinking that guys should pay all girls bills, because that's not where we're coming from.

Beyonce Knowles

I'm a human being and I fall in love and sometimes I don't have control of every situation.

Audrey Hepburn

I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.

Audrey Hepburn

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,but true beauty in a Woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows.

Audrey Hepburn

I never think of myself as an icon. What is in other people's minds is not in my mind. I just do my thing.

Amelia Earhart

The woman who can create her own job is the woman who will win fame and fortune.

Amelia Earhart

Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail their failure must be but a challenge to others.


A woman wears her tears like jewelry.

Barbara De Angelis

Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.

Oprah Winfrey

I am a woman in process. I'm just trying like everybody else. I try to take every conflict, every experience, and learn from it. Life is never dull.

Madame Marie du Deffand

Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weaknesses.

Oscar Wilde

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

Gloria Steinem

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

Eliza Doolittle, as played by Audrey Hepburn, in My Fair Lady

The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Billie Jean King

Make no mistake: real ladies aren't elitist, prissy, or superficial... Ladies are leaders, champions,  and role models. Regardless of your age, race, religion, appearance, or sexual orientation, there's no excuse NOT to be a lady today... And that's the only 'rule' you need to know!

The Kansas City Star review of Noelle Cleary and Dini von Mueffling's The Art and Power of Being a Lady

A modern lady has grace, self-confidence, independence, ethics, style, and humor... And (is) ready to take on today's unique challenged with grace and strength.

Monday, October 12, 2015

An interesting article I thought I would share. Being a feminist, I do not necessarily agree with everything that is stated here. But there is a lot of good advice within.

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Role Model: Kate Middleton

There are so many role models out there for ladies-in-training, and who better than Her Highness, Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge? Ever since the Royal Wedding, pictures are flooding in of what she ate, who she wore, what she did, and how she acted. I will preface this by saying that I am firmly for privacy, and make it a point not to immerse myself in tabloids and tattlers, but in this day and age it is all but impossible not to know which DVF dress she wore where, and what Karl Lagerfield especially designed for her. And in all of these things, one thing stands clear: Princess Kate has style. But it is more than that. She carries herself well, shoulders back, head high, smile firmly in place. She never stumbles or stutters, always perfectly composed and aware of everything going in around her. And she is modest. Her clothing always covers her properly, with no "mishaps" or accidents because she didn't cover all of herself. But at the same time, she is in no way dowdy or matronly. Rather, she looks young and fresh, while still being modest and holding on to some old-fashioned values that we all could learn from.
So, here are a few tips that I have personally found helpful. As always, not every one will apply to you and your situation, so if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me, and I will help if I can. That said, here goes:
1.) Nude. The colour nude, especially a warm or pink-toned shade, is something every woman should have in her repetoir. Lipsticks, heels, and nails all can be very flattering in nude and, should you choose the right shade, can completely pull a look together and give it a more modern feel. Invest in some good nudes, because they go with everything. Literally.
2.) The "one inch" rule. The hem of any skirt, suit, dress, or even shorts, should usually be within one inch of your knee. Whether that be above the knee or below, going more than one inch in either direction is rarely a good idea- and should be left to the professionals. Not sure if your skirt is modest enough? If this is the case, put it back. When in doubt, throw it out; it is better to err on the side of caution- there are many classic phrases that tell us that for centuries this approach has worked. No need to change that now! And no-one ever said being a lady would be easy. Sometimes it calls for us to sacrifice that sexy bodycon for a streamlined skirt suit. Trust me, you will thank me later.
3.) Always have a statement piece. If you are like me, then you don't have an endless bamk account. However, whenever possible, as I always say, buy quality. So what to do if you only have  $50 to spend? Buy neutrals and classics. Greys, browns, blacks, whites, and tans are all easy to find and to mix and match so that you can get the optimum amount of outfits from your clothes. Buying items like a well-cut suit, nude pumps, and a classic LBD, will make your wardrobe decisions easier, if a little bland. Add a pop of colour with a bright scarf, tights, or a hat, and you are set.
I suppose the point of all of this is, being modest is part of being a lady. So take a lesson from a real, world-class lady, and learn a thing or two.

Thursday, September 10, 2015


There are so many facets of what it takes to be a lady. I can't even go into all of them now, because it would take too much time. As a matter of fact, I don't think anyone could ennumerate the different facets of being in lady. However, here is a link to something that I think is rather important: being a woman who isn't afraid to kick some butts and take some names to get what she wants.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Reese Witherspoon

Creating a cultural icon out of someone who goes, "I'm stupid, isn't it cute?" makes me want to throw daggers. I want to say to them, 'My grandma did not fight for what she fought for just so you can start telling women it's fun to be stupid. Saying that to young women, little girls, my daughter? It's not okay.'"

Jordan Christy, How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World

If I wouldn't say this in front of my grandmother, I probably shouldn't say it at all.

Ann Radcliffe

A well-informed mind is the best security against the contagion of folly and of vice. The vacant mind is ever on the watch for relief, and ready to plunge into error.

George Eliot

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Louisa May Alcott

You have a good many little gifts and virtues, but there is no need of parading them, for conceit spoils the finest of genius... the great charm of all power is modesty.

Lauren Graham

Perspective is the most important thing to have in life.

Hayden Pannetierre

I think, now more than ever, young girls need a good role model. My mom always says, "you are the books you read and the people you surround yourself with."

Jordan Christy, How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World

We'll probably never be able to escape (Stupid Girls) or change them, but we can certainly step up our game and provide a glowimg example of what an It Girl should be- confident, chic, and clever.

Jordan Christy, How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World

The minute you hoist that stiletto heel up onto the barstool upholstery, you have crossed into Stupid Girl territory.

Friday, August 14, 2015


17 Insanely Easy Ways To Be A Bit More Charming
No words. This is amazing, and apploes to everyone. If you click on one link on my blog, click on this one.

Thursday, July 30, 2015


Feminism is important. If you agree, then follow thr link. If you disagree, thrn follow the link. If you don't really understand, then follow the link!

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Life Lesson

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't posted in a bit: I'm still here, I promise!
Today, let's talk about strength. There are so many people out there who can be difficult to deal with, we all know a few. But I like to look at mine as an opportunity- training, if you will. Because anyone can get in a fight. My three year old nice can do it, my eighty-something grandmother can do it, you can do it. It's easy.
But strength means not taking the easy way out, it means doing it the hard way, if it means you do it right. Because for most people, it will always be easier to let loose and start yelling than to keep your mouth shut and consider things from the opposing point of view.
Maybe they are wrong and you are right, totally and completely. However, insisting upon it will not change people's minds.
Have the strength to keep the peace, and you will definitely see a difference in your life.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Friday, May 22, 2015

Just a thought

I have heard no-one ever claim to be impressed when someone goes out of their way to show off. Good deeds, when done right, will speak for themselves, and there will be no need to raise your voice. Like the German proverb says, "Secret charity and secret patience are best."

Just a though

There is an old Italian proverb which says, "It is not for the blind to give an opinion on colors." And a great man once said that opinion is the lowest form of intelligence. This is a motto that everyone should remember. Now, don't misunderstand me. Opinion is everyone's privilege, and all are entitled to theirs. However, an opinion based on anything besides solid fact, or a factual opinion biased by emotion, should be kept to oneself. Few things appear more nonsensical than an ignorant person trying to pass off their opinion as fact. Neither should you state an opinion without knowledge to back it up. Not only will this save you from embarrassing situations later, but remember that everyone has role models, and you may unknowingly lead someone astray with incorrect information.
So remember. Opinions, when factual, practical, relevant, or well-based, are fine. Otherwise, keep them to yourself.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Recommended reading

The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Ettiquette- A Guide to Contemporary Living, Revised and Expanded by Letitia Baldrige, by Amy Vanderbilt. ©1952.
Say it with me: Etiquette is not obsolete! For the modern lady, etiquette is an essential, and there is nowhere better to go than to the Queen of Etiquette, Ms. Amy Vanderbilt.

Introduction the the "Entertaining" section; Amy Vanderbilt, The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Ettiquette- A Guide to Contemporary Living, Revised and Expanded by Letitia Baldrige

One of the most important facets in one's life is knowing how to entertain. Whether you live in a one room apartment with an annual income of $6, 500 or whether you live on an estate with an annual income of $300,000, the spirit of entertaining is the same. It is simply giving pleasure to others
It is a gift to know how to entertain well. It is also one of the most creative actions we carry out in our life. Possessing wealth does not automatically ensure being a good host, because affluence has nothing to do with a desire to please others, to be at ease with others, to be warm and welcoming.
If the host and hostess plan well in advance, even the most minute details; if they carefully compose their guest list; and if they look forward to an opportunity to please others, then the party will be a success. Weather trained staff past platters of roast pheasant, or whether the guest helps himself to a casserole of stew, it is the attitude in the home that counts, the spirit, the atmosphere of real warmth.
Above all, remember one thing: entertaine is not easy. There is no such thing as the "Party-giving is a snap" hostess. Attention to detail, a continuing awareness of how the party is progressing and how the guests are feeling, requires constant alertness. This does not mean that one should be a nervous Nelly with you about like a bird in frenetic, useless activity, but it does mean keeping an eye on all the details. It is no contradiction to say that you can work hard at your own party and still enjoyed it tremendously.
Giving a good party is a creative achievement. It is also very satisfying to know that you have given your friends pleasure.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Recommended reading

Burlesque and the Art of the Teese/ Fetish and the Art of the Teese, by Dita  Von Teese. ©2006. This book is a lavish celebration of sensuality and showgirls. I have been a fan of Miss von Teese for a long time. With each new release, every exciting reveal, she has settled deeper into the hearts of America- men and women love her, copy her, fantasize about her, long for her, watch her, and dream of someday being on the same realm as the heavenly sinful Miss Dita.

Dita von Teese, Burlesque and the Art of the Teese

(Her) art is creating spectacle and inspiring dreams.

Dita von Teese, Burlesque and the Art of the Teese

I advocate glamour. Every day. Every minute. Glamour... glamour above all things. That is what I say. There was a time, after all- well, before all- when a lady dressed to the nines no matter what her destination. This great girl wore seamed stockings and garter belts every single day. She curled her eyelashes and she set her hair in luscious waves. She painter her lips a flushed, rich scarlet. Wherever the day took her, she wore high heels and satin  gloves to her elbows, soaring cocque feathers and veils of the finest netting over her eyes. And so do I.

Friday, May 8, 2015

Life lesson

Today I was invited to a last-minute pitch-in, and was asked to bring a dish. This is a perfect example of why preparedness is so important. There were two ways I could have reacted to this situation: I could panic and worry about it, or I could be calm, because I was prepared for such a thing. Pitch-ins are popular where I live, we have them regularly, and often have to feed and entertain 70 or more people.
Having one or a few go-to dishes and games/activities at the ready definitely pays off. I brought a cheese and cracker hors d'oeuvre. It went over spectacularly, and I had no leftovers to bring home. What I count as a successful day.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Nina Gargia

You just know when you are in the company of a confident woman. Even (or especially) in the face of imperfections, her air is striking. Her beauty is fueled from something inside her. It's not that she doesn't care about her looks; on the contrary, she is so comfortable with who she is that she even embraces her quirks and flaws.

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Andrea Pomerantz Lustig, How to Look Expensive

And that, my dears, is what expensive makeup is all about. It as knit fades into the backround, bringing out your beauty to make you the star, not your makeup. It has that "je ne sais quoi" quality you see on models in magazines, a flow that looks like it's more than skin deep.

Andrea Pomerantz Lustig, How to Look Expensive

I believe that beauty is power. When your hair looks polished, you feel polished. When you get your skin under control, you feel more in control of your life. The right lipstick color can life your mood better than Prozac... It's not about being flashy or a show-off or a showgirl (that's a different kind of expensive). It's luxe, not loud. More Paris, France than Paris Hilton.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Recommended reading

Make Up: Your Life Guide to Beauty Style and Success- Online and Off, by Michelle Phan. ©2014.
A great guide for everything from skincare to posture to blusher. Michele Phan knows her stuff!

Michelle Phan, Make Up

A stylish person looks pulled together and projects a certain sense of confidence.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Life lesson

In nature the female of the species is higher than the male. The male must work hard to impress the female of the species in order to win the honor of mating with her. And it is not different in human society. The female is largely  responsible for populating and nurturing the world. In the same way, our men festoon themselves and strut about to try and earn the attention of the woman. Nature triumphs, even after years of oppression against us.
So don't settle for a man who is not a gentleman.


A Woman Wants To "Empower All Bodies"...

Friday, April 24, 2015

Marjorie Hillis, Live Alone and Like It

You have probably noticed that the lady of your acquaintance who thinks of herself as a duchess may cause a good many laughs, but usually, in the main, is treated like a duchess—in so far, at least, as her friends know how a duchess should be treated. It is equally true that it is the lady who expects orchids who gets them, while you and I are pinning on a single gardenia.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Pamela Keogh, Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn?: life lessons on live, power, and style

The number one rule for living like a Jackie (Kennedy Onassis) or a Marilyn (Monroe) [or some combination thereof] is to create yourself in your own [best] image.

Recommended reading

The Heroine's Bookshelf, by Erin Blakemore. ©2010.
Life lessons to be learned from some of the most outstanding female characters in classic fiction. A truly remarkable read.

Erin Blakemore, The Heroine's Bookshelf

It would be all too easy for Lizzy (Bennett) to mope and resign herself to her pride's spectacular fall, but Lizzy is a heroine of action. Ever on the hunt for self-understanding, she is forced to evaluate her own role in the debacle, and what she sees is not flattering. Given the chance to behave heroically, Lizzy shines: in the face of her own shortcomings, she doesn't flinch for a second. Instead, she confronts herself with a heroine's daring. It's time to change and challenge the beliefs she once held so dear.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Just a thought

If you don't want to be seen somewhere, propelling the way you do, don't go. Because inevitably you will be seen. That is the way it works.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Just a thought

A lady should be at least mildly conversant in the popular subjects of the time, including local and international news, popular and classic entertainment, as well as secular and educational matters. One such thing is poetry. You need not be a scholar to be conversant, as long as you acquaint yourself with the classics. A working knowledge of Shakespeare, Byron, Keats, Shelley, and Pope can be considered quite an acceptable variety, and all are well-known to even the most casual of poetry readers. An effort to expand your horizons, as well as your understanding, may be incredibly useful some day- if not, you will be known as an educated, nicely reasoned lady, which is all any of us can ask for.

Friday, March 27, 2015

Just a thought

Don't whisper, in public or in private. If you do so in public, you are being rude and distrustful to those not privy to your private remark. If you do so in private with a friend, there should be no reason to whisper, as only you and your friend are conversing. It is a simple matter, but failing to uphold this rule will result in hurt feelings, damaged pride, and a loss of reputation.
Also, please note that if you are whispering because you are discussing an outside figure, don't discuss it. If you would not say it to the person, or to those who love her, don't say it to someone whose business it does not involve.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Monday, March 16, 2015

Just a thought

You can wear circle skirts and pearls or cowboy boots and drink a beer-it doesn't matter. Being a lady is not how you dress, though a lady is always modest when necessary. Don't let others dictate your style. Being a lady is a condition of the heart, and it takes upkeep. Don't let others tear it down.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

William Butler Yeats

To be born woman is to know-
Although they do not talk of it at school-
That we must labor to be beautiful.

Amy Lowell

Underneath my stiffened gown
Is the softness of a woman bathing in a marble basin,

William Wordsworth

A perfect Woman, nobly planned,
To warn, to comfort, and command;
And yet a Spirit still, and bright
With something of angelic light.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Pearls are truly the safest choice for the feminine lady because they're appropriate chioces for both daytime and evening.

A feminine lady would rather choose a high-quality diamond in a smaller size than a low-quality one in a larger size.

Jewelry can also help to emphasize the 'feminine image' that one wants to be associated with in the minds of others because the kind of jewelry a woman chooses reflects much about who she is as a woman (and what her personal taste is).

Friday, February 20, 2015


There is no animal more invincible than a woman, nor fire either...


A woman always has her revenge ready.

William Shakespeare

Black men are pearls in beauteous ladies'eyes.
Here, in my opinion, lies a prime example of Mr. Shakespeare's deep understanding and appreciation of women. What he is saying, in effect, is that a good lady can see a man blackened by his sins, but can perceive the good in him-- even, in some cases, bring it to the foreground. This is a skill that all should strive to achieve, but remember: with great power comes great responsibility.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Timothy Leary

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

Lillian Day

A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally.

Susan B. Anthony

Woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Jean Baudrillard

The strength of the feminine it's that of seduction.


It is not enough to conquer; one must know how to seduce.

Recommended reading

Seductress, Betsy Prioleau. ©2003.
A study of seductresses of the past, and how to attain their success. To quote the book, "For those, though, who'd like eros under their control, beaux at their bidding, and the upper hand in sex, the know-how is there for the taking."

Betsy Prioleau, Seductress

It's no coincidence love and warfare share the same vocabulary; seduction demands spunk... "Venus favors the bold! "


Rudeness is the weak person's imitation of strength.

Betsy Prioleau, Seductress

If you scrape off the cultural debris - superstitions, myths, and media cant - you'll see a woman to be reckoned with. The seductress is one of the most potent female personas in existence. Though long misunderstood and ignored, she's the paradigmatic liberated woman, empowered with me and empowered in life.

Noel Coward

It's wonderful what a little determined charm can do.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Shellie Rushing Tomlinson, Suck Your Stomach In and Put Some Color On

By her example she ingrained in us girls one of our most valued Southern traditions: your elders deserve respect, period. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Helen Reddy

I am woman: hear me roar.

Just a thought

So I just spent this morning in a tightly-packed sedan with a group of women who spent the better part of four hours talking down to me, not including me in their plans, laughing at me, and making me, in general, dislike them and myself. So, a note. Firstly, please notice that I did not refer to these people as ladies. Their conduct was abhorrent. Secondarily, whether I am "beneath" them or not is of no matter: no-one should be treated that way. Thirdly, people don't forget when this is done to them. They may keep quiet, miserable and hateful, but if they had a chance, many people would find it difficult to pass on an opportunity to repay the treatment. And finally. These harsh words were from people I knew well, among them my sister, a girl I grew up with, and a more recent friend. It is difficult to keep from believing these people when they seem to want you to feel like baggage. But there are a few adages I like to keep in mind for such situations:
You are not considered a good person by how you treat your superiors. You are considered to be a good person by how you treat those beneath you.
Do to others what you would like to be done to you, if the situation were reversed.
Do not let the circumstances surrounding you define how you act: a lady proves she is a lady when she acts properly despite intervening circumstances.
And, finally, to quote Shakespeare: "all the glitters is not gold."

Monday, February 9, 2015

Recommended reading

The Southern Belle's Handbook: Sissy Leblanc's Rules to Live By, by Loraine Despres, ©2003.
This book manages to be both sassy and sensible as it lists randomly numbered tidbits on life.

Recommended reading

Live Like a Hot Chick, by Jodi Lipper and Cerina Vincent. ©2010.
The opening chapter of this book is an inspiration. As soon as I had read it-devoured it, more like-I immediately went online and bought a copy for my best friend. This book is stock-full of advice, epigrams, sass, and style, managing to make you love yourself even on the days when you don't change out of your sweats, and eat ice cream out of the tub. We all have those Low Self Esteem moments and, for most of us, it feels like our entire life is that moment. This book looks at you and says, hey. So what? Get over it!

Loraine Despres, The Southern Belle's Handbook: Sissy Leblanc's Rules to Live By

When a train heads straight at you, a smart girl derails it.

Loraine Despres, The Southern Belle's Handbook: Sissy Leblanc's Rules to Live By

A lady shouldn't have to fight to get what she wants.

Loraine Despres, The Southern Belle's Handbook: Sissy Leblanc's Rules to Live By

What men call logic is all too often a convoluted rationalization in the service of their egos neuroses, and prejudices... Knowing this, a smart woman deals with male "logic" from the vantage point of quiet superiority.

Loraine Despres, The Southern Belle's Handbook: Sissy Leblanc's Rules to Live By

A smart girl lets a man take full credit for doing exactly what she wants him to do.

Loraine Despres, The Southern Belle's Handbook: Sissy Leblanc's Rules to Live By

A Southern Belle picks her fights... There are so many other ways to get what you want

Loraine Despres, The Scandalous Summer of Sissy LeBlanc

Sissy wasn't really beautiful, but men never noticed. With her deep green eyes, her shoulder- length auburn hair that swung when she moved, and the way she moved as if she enjoyed just being inside her body, men had always paid her lots of attention. But then, Sissy thought, it's not what a girl looks like that captivates a man.  It's how hard he has to work for her. A smart girl makes a man sweat. She decided to make that rule number 16 in The Southern Belle's Handbook, which was what Sissy had ironically titled that compendium of helpful hints and rules her mother and grandmother tried so hard to instill in her. Her mother had wanted her to grow up a gracious southern lady. Her grandmother just didn't want the (jerks) to grind her down. Sissy had added to it over the years, until The Southern Belle's Handbook became her personal credo. She kept it in her head, assigning numbers at random, but then Sissy always had a random relationship with numbers.

Diane Stanley and Peter Vennema, Cleopatra

It is traditionally believed that Cleopatra dazzled Caesar with her great beauty. Instead, it was the power of her intelligence and personality that drew him to her. According to Plutarch, "the charm of her presence was irresistible, and there was an attraction in her person and her talk, together with a peculiar force of character which pervaded her every word and action, and laid all who associated with her under its spell. "

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Conversation, From

The classy woman, through her language, attempts to make those around her feel comfortable, respected, and at ease and she treats everyone, regardless of their appearance, social class, and educational level, with the same amount of respect and graciousness.

How to find your dream guy. From

Good men who are intelligent, kindhearted, of good character, and know how to treat a woman well are desirable, to say the least, and have the pick of the women in the world. You can be sure that they're looking out for a certain kind of creature and know their ideal mate.

Maryln Schwartz

My dear, this is something you must always remember. Your bosom can be fake. Your smile can be fake and your hair color can be fake. But your pearls and your silver must always be real.


No amount of money can make you quality if you don't act like quality.

Friday, February 6, 2015


It's not the impression you make, it's the impression you leave.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Jodi Lipper and Cerina Vincent, Live Like a Hot Chick

Everyday you spend hating your body is a day that you are not living like a hot chick. Your time and energy should be spent on accomplishing your dreams and enjoying your life, not making yourself feel worthless and wallowing in self-pity. It's time to put an end to your negative, insecure thoughts and genuinely embrace the body that you have.

Jodi Lipper and Cerina Vincent, Live Like a Hot Chick

The only way to change today's beauty ideals (or at least the way they impact our self-esteem) is for all of us women to join forces and change things for ourselves with our words and our actions. It's so easy to cut down another woman instead of complimenting her, but doing that only makes the world a less hospitable place for all of us. When you prop another woman up, refuse to see her flaws, and focus on her beauty instead, you are changing things for the better- for yourself, and for all women.

Susan Hayward, describing a femme fatale

active, intelligent, powerful, dominant and in charge of her own sexuality.

Margaret Thatcher

Power is like being a lady... if you have to tell people you are, you aren't.

Lady Randolph Churchill

You may be a princess or the richest woman in the world, but you cannot be more that a lady.

Sydney Biddle Barrows

The more you act like a lady, the more he'll act like a gentleman.

Sophie Turner

Courtesy is a lady's armour.

Diablo Cody

You make a first impression, and people never forget it.

Chloe Sevigny

If I'm feeling down in the dumps, or like I need a pop of colour, I'll put on MAC's lipstick in Lady Danger.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

My mother told me to be a lady. And for her, that meant be your own person, be independent.


If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Farrah Fawcett

God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met.

Barbra de Angelis

Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Margaret Thatcher

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.

Eleanor Roosevelt

A woman is like a teabag: you never know how strong it is until you put it in hot water.

Just a thought

Maybe it is because I live in a small town; I don't know. But everyday people think nothing of talking bad about someone, behind their backs or to their face, of hurtful gossip, of throwing someone in the mud to make themselves look better. And these people don't seem to be thinking this tactic through. Besides being unladylike, it is just a bad strategy. Firstly, not only are you transmitting that you have nothing to offer unless the other person is brought down to your level, but don't think for a second that nobody saw you push that person down. That no-one noticed when you slapped her into the mud. Because people notice. They may not say anything to you, but they notice.
Secondarily, I have had "friends" before who spent all their time talking bad about their other "friends." Which means, by process of common sense and an understanding of human nature, that they were talking about me when I wasn't there. If you stick around when people start to talk, be prepared for the fallout. Stick up for the underdog, and people will notice. Not only will they stop gossiping around you, but you will give them one less thing to talk about when you turn your back.
So don't be an everyday person. Be spectacular. Have the courage to stand above everyone else, because you don't want their dirt smothering your shine.

Jessica Waldorf

Beauty is an art form, and meant to be celebrated.

Coco Chanel

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.

Saturday, January 31, 2015


As I hope I have helped you realise, character is the most important part of being a lady. And so making sure you build a good character, with firm foundations, is essential. One lovely website I recommend is This website has lovely advice for almost any situation, as well as lovely ideals to think on throughout your day.

Henry David Thoreau

You cannot dream yourself into a character: you must hammer and forge yourself into one.

The Art of Conversation

It is difficult to make conversation with strangers, especially if you are shy, like I am. offers tips of the trade on every subject, from grooming to dining to decorating. Here is a link to their lovely article on how to be a good conversationalist, whether you know someone or not.

A Consideration on Consideration

I must say that, if I had to choose just one thing that would be the key to being a lady, it would be consideration. And not just helping someone out when they need it. I mean, considerate in every facet of life. Remember little details about people, like what their favourite flower is, or how they take their coffee, or when their anniversary is. Ask about their life specifically when you greet them, and make sure you listen closely. When driving, make sure to follow both the spirit and the letter of the law. Think before you speak, and don't hold a grudge. The world is ugly. Don't make yourself ugly to match. I guess it all boils down to the Golden Rule.
Many people will agree with me that a person who is not considerate is a very grating thing, and no-one wants to be with a person like that. Mould yourself into a truly considerate person, and you will have the true essence of a lady.


A proper lady knows how to entertain. No excuses. But that, as we all know, can be more stressful than anything. So here is a cheater. For the best tips and tricks, click here.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Southern saying

Strong as oak, and sweet as honeysuckle.


A real lady knows how to make a proper glass of iced tea. And I mean real iced tea, not Lipton cold brew. Whether having a friend over for brunch, or hosting a tea party on the hottest day of summer, a good recipe for iced tea is an essential.
For the recipe,  click here.

Catchphrase for the Reine de Naples Collection

In every woman, there is a queen.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Lauren Stover, The Bombshell Manual of Style

Most of all, a Bombshell enjoys her own company. She is not afraid to be alone.

Lauren Stover, The Bombshell Manual of Style

The second concern is her makeup. Under no circumstances does the Bombshell want her face to get wet. She will cover her head with a scarf or magazine if no umbrella is present. Men have been known to walk several blocks out of their way to keep a Bombshell's head covered and she has quite a collection of business cards to prove it.

Friday, January 23, 2015


Is it your dream to become a '40s femme fatale a'la Rita Hayworth? Click here for some top hints on the best ways to do so.

Recommended reading

Stuff Every Woman Should Know by Alanna Kalb. Copyright 2010.
This book includes everything from how to check your oil to how to dress for your body type. A comprehensive guide to the most important necessities to becoming a well-rounded lady. Plus: it's pocket-sized for easy transportation! Definitely worth the purchase.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Matthew Arnold

Conduct is three-fourths of character.

Safe Counsel, Professor B. G. Jefferis, M.D., Ph.D.; and J. L. Nichols, A. M.

If the boys are savages, we want (the girls) to be their civilizer. We want her to tame them, to subdue their ferocity, to soften their manners, and to teach them all-needed lessons of order, sobriety, and meekness, and patience, and goodness... Seek ye then, fair daughters, the possession of that inward grace, whose essence shall permeate and vitalize the affections, adorn the countenance, make mellifluous the voice, and impart a hallowed beauty even to your motions. Not merely that you may be loved, would I urge you this, but that you may, in truth, be lovely- that loveliness which fades not with time, nor is marred or alienated by disease, but which neither chance nor change can in any way despoil.

Safe Counsel, Professor B. G. Jefferis, M.D., Ph.D.; and J. L. Nichols, A. M.

Beauty and style are not the surest passports to womanhood - some of the noblest specimens of womanhood that the world has ever seen, have presented the plainest and most unprepossessing appearance. A woman's worth is to be estimated by the real goodness of her heart, the greatness of her soul,  and the purity and sweetness of her character; and a woman with a kindly disposition and well-balanced temper, is both lovely and attractive, be her face ever so plain, and her figure ever so homely...

Frederick Perthes

The government of one's self is the only true freedom for the individual.

Safe Counsel, Professor B. G. Jefferis, M.D., Ph.D.; and J. L. Nichols, A. M.

Have the courage to cut the most agreeable acquaintance. - Do this when you are convinced that he lacks principle; a friend should bear with a friend's infirmities, but not with his vices.

Safe Counsel, Professor B. G. Jefferis, M.D., Ph.D.; and J. L. Nichols, A. M.

An author is known by his writings, a mother by her daughter, a fool by his words, and all men (or women) by their companions.

Safe Counsel, Professor B. G. Jefferis, M.D., Ph.D.; and J. L. Nichols, A. M.

The world is full of ignorance, and the ignorant will always criticise, because they live to suffer ills, for they know no better.

Max Factor

A woman who doesn't wear lipstick feels undressed in public.

Stuff Every Woman Should Know, Alanna Kalb

From sniffing my way through an upscale perfume boutique to cornering a car salesman for valuable bargaining tips, there's one thing I realized: No matter what you're doing or who you're talking to, stand up straight, pull back those shoulders, and smile. It works, and it's called confidence. Don't have any? Fake it.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Just a thought

Talk about what you're passionate about, instead of complaining about what you don't like.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Just a thought

Talk about what you're passionate about, instead of complaining about what you don't like.